The Reality of Now

Recently, I've kept running into the unfortunate reality that the more time I give myself to do something, the longer I take to get that thing done. I find that so often, we use excess time to complete a task or to make something of our day because we allow certain notions or plans to constrict or distort our sense of space and time. By this I mean that when you have a free day off from say school or work, you might take that whole day to relax or just do nothing since it's a "day off." I'll admit that I do this sometimes, but I've started to notice that it can be a detrimental habit that can seep into different areas of life.

For example, If I get home at 3 p.m. and don't work until 5 p.m., I tend to take that time to myself to relax until exactly 4:15 when I know I need to get ready to leave at 4:30. It is such a bad habit. Over the past six years of my life, I have worked multiple jobs. Each night I have been scheduled to work, I have noticed that my whole day revolves around that one part of my day, work. Whether or not I go to the beach, whether or not I work out, whether or not I go home to see my family, or whether or not I start a project or new painting maybe. My conscious is always aware of how many more hours last in the day before I clock in. Night shifts, more so than others, have the unfortunate ability to restrict my concept of time and space each day of my life. I've started to see this play out in ordinary days and it is so troubling to me, and I'll explain why.

We live each day trying to save our energy for something better than the present moment to come along. We wait and wait and wait for 5 p.m. each day, for Friday night and the weekend, for that vacation we planned months ago, for the festival we've yearned for since last year. This has been engrained in our minds since infancy. It is not so natural for us to spot and understand the value in every single passing moment, good or bad. Lets call it instant-optimistic-gratitude for now. Instead of giving all of our energy to the present moment, we wait for plans to unfold, or for something great to reveal before our eyes, something to play with and enjoy for a bit until it passes.

Then we wait, and wait, all over again.

We are fearful that by creating our own present, we'll miss opportunities that come by in other scenarios brought forth by things or people we view as better, or more worthy of our time, than our own self. We'll miss an opportunity to pursue our passions as work, for a bigger paycheck and steady income. We have been conditioned to believe that now is not the greatest moment of our life because it is the future that holds those momentous experiences and wonders. We're taught that the best days are when we leave the country to travel the world, walk down the aisle, start a business, buy our first house, have children and start a family. I agree, those days will be memorable, and they will be awesome, but, if we let the magnitude of our future dictate the degree of the current moment at hand, these passing days will simply pass us by, same as the last, so routine, and so colorless. Countless passion projects or a-ha moments where simply basking in an unexplainable high and joyous experience could be unimaginable.

Instead of waiting for our larger-than-life future, that we have absolutely no knowledge about, or are even guaranteed, we should be creating a more beneficial existence for ourselves by truly living in the present now and making the most of every scenario. 

What you'll notice about creatives is that they live to produce, like most human beings. But unlike most, creatives during the course of their lives have learned how to find confidence in their own personal hobbies/passions/work in a nontraditional fashion and pursue them each day. We all should consider ourself creatives, pursuing both ourselves and the things we value, love, and cherish in the world, on top of living out our life's calling. It might be hard to clearly explain your passions and what truly drives you, but if you dedicate some time each day to feel out your soul and look at the big picture, you may be able to achieve a lifestyle greater than the one you're living now. 


"No valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now."
-Alan Watts